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Friday, March 14, 2008
Today! She wants to go to prison today! Has my mother completely lost her mind? I still want time with her. Bianca wants to visit first. Josh wanted to throw a dinner for her so she’d know how much we love her. There are so many things we still need to do before our mother’s in some cellblock for six months. I can’t believe she wants to go to prison ASAP. Who does that? Never mind… the one, the only… Erica Kane. I could kill her!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
I don’t want to talk about the “Ryan” issue anymore. Okay. I admit it. As much as I want Ryan to time travel back into the here and now – there is a part of me that likes being doted on. Of course… Zach is the man I love, my future. No doubts. And Ryan is my past. But a girl (even Greenlee) likes to be put on a pedestal. But the flattery is long past over – so can’t we all just table the Ryan convo and focus on fun – on being home, together – work, kids, friends – NOT exes?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I can’t wait to get home to see my boys – all three of them! I’ve missed them so much on this trip – especially when that creep was in my room… I felt so invaded – I just want to get home, to where I’m safe in Zach’s arms and where my boys are safe in mine.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 Filling in the blanks is so hard… Ryan and I – and Greenlee – those are chapters of our past we don’t want to relive. We’ve moved on. But he’s stuck. And I don’t know how to unglue him from 2004. He thinks I’m this “virtuous” woman – we’ve all made mistakes. God, I wish I didn’t feel like I have to hide this secret from Zach – and now another secret – that I snuck out to talk to Ryan... What is wrong with me?
Monday, March 10, 2008
If Ryan’s memory is starting to come back, I have to help him. The faster he remembers 2008, the faster he remembers his children, his wife, his life – the better for everyone. Right? I know Aidan’s doing his job and is “protecting” me from Ryan – but he’s not dangerous. He’s just confused. Everyone feels that way sometimes…
Friday, March 7, 2008
I am so not a poet. I still have a hard time considering myself a "writer." But when it comes to Zach... I can go on and on about how much I love him, how strong he is, how sexy, loyal, just all around amazing. I know it's a little corny - but, hey, sometimes love is. I never thought I'd find someone who can frustrate and excite me all at the same time while making me feel completely safe. As hard as our lives can be at times - life with him is easy and effortless. Does that make any sense? Love is patient, love is kind - love is definitely Zach.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Sometimes this book tour stuff is so surreal. I can't believe how many people showed up to see me! For my signature! It's nuts - but incredibly sweet. Reality is rough sometimes, and we all could use a little escape. So... we watch TV, eat some ice cream, listen to music, take a long drive... and sometimes we even read a book. It's just so rewarding to hear my doodlings have helped people take a little time to get away from life's craziness. So my question to you is: What is your favorite way to escape reality?
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Somehow, some way, Aidan and I really have become close. Even after certain events - he's become a close friend - and in some weird way - one of my closest. Especially after last night... all of the other stuff in our not so distant past - doesn't matter. When I needed him - he was there. Not in the way Zach is or even Greenlee, but in a different, totally platonic way. And he's not just some macho, special ops guy - I mean I kind of knew that from way back, when we dated - but he's one of the good guys. You know? He's someone I'm happy to call "friend." Weird how that happened, huh?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I would have killed him. That creep wanted to rape me and I swear I would've killed him. I know that's not something a person should admit, not something someone should be proud of, but any man who thinks he can just take what he wants... Richard Fields, Michael Cambias - they deserved what happened to them. And that skeevy guy in my room earlier - he deserves much worse than he got. Just thinking about it... Make me so angry! Men don't have the right to take away a woman's privacy, her body, her choice - but any man that tries to do that to me... he won't have much say when I'm done with him.
Monday, March 3, 2008
He was right there. In front of me. Staring and gawking and approaching... he was going to try and take me. He would have thrown me down. I feel like I'm under water just thinking about it - about him - about what could have happened. My mother, my sister - they were both cornered. They didn't make it out. But I did. I had to. I couldn't let him do that to me... He was so close to touching me, hurting me... I can't catch my breath.
