Should he or shouldn't he?

Friday, September 21, 2007

No doubt. Jason is an incredible kid. He's exactly the kind of boy I want Spike to grow up to be. Smart, athletic, adorable... funny. It's just... this next step... it's so hard. Committing to another surgery for Spike. As a mother, I just want to love his problems away - find a cure that doesn't involve being stuck in that damn hospital again. Part of me is holding out hope this is a temporary obstacle that Spike will just jump over. But the other part of me... would having the damn cochlear implant be so bad? Maybe. Maybe not. I... I just worry about what growing up "different" will do to Spike. Will he be picked first in gym class or last because he's "the deaf kid"? Are girls going to look at him like any other guy or are they not going to want to date someone with a "handicap"? I know. I know. "That's so far away, Kendall - don't worry about that now." But I worry about everything. How Spike feels this minute, today and how he's going to feel in 10, 20 years. Part of me wants to be so angry with Zach and my mother - but... I can't be. I know what they're saying makes sense - I think about it all the time, too. I just don't know if I can make that leap from blind faith to surgery just yet.

Comments

[Tigereye]

Kendall,

It is a hard decision especially since it does involve surgery. With all of Spike's hospital stays and Ian still in the hospital, I know it must be hard expecting your child to have to go back in there. But it won't hurt to listen about the possibility and that's all Zach and Erica are asking.

[Becky, Brandon,MS]

Kendall:

You don't have to make the decision right now.You do, however, have to accept at some point that Spike is deaf.You don't have to like it, but for his sake, you have to accept it. Start there.Then make the next step. Just a baby step. The option is to continue in denial and rob Spike of any chance he might have at a normal life. Yes.Being different has it's down side.So does being 'normal'.Just ponder this: Do you love Bianca any less because she is different?

[Barb NY]

Kendall..As a mother, I can understand how you feel. Every mother wants her child to be just like everyone else and to be accepted by everyone. However, you have to realize that Spike is deaf and accept that it is not temporary. The cochlear implant will give Spike the chance to live a full life. You saw how happy and well adjusted Jason was. Zach and your mother wanted you to see exactly how the coclear implant would help Spike. You owe it to him to be open minded about this. The only disadvantage is that it can't be worn while swimming. Do you really think that is important enough to make you reject it? Jason didn't think so. I know you want only the best for your son, You have to give him the chance for the best possible life. This will allow him to hear. Discuss it with Zach and weigh your options and do what you think is best for Spike.

[CindyK]

Kendall,

No doubt Jason is quite remarkable...not only does his deafness not define who he is, but it hasn't stopped him from living a full and complete life. And might I add a very happy life as well.

Cochlear implants are not for everyone...but as Zach said it gives Spike and your family hope. Being informed also means more options. I know at the end of the day you will do whatever is necessary and in the best interest of Spike and your family.

[MrsK]

Kendall,

I know you may of felt "double teamed" by Zach and Erica today, but thankfully you know they only did it because of their love for you and Spike. It's not every day we hear Zach defending Erica and vice versa.

Spike is counting on you to do whatever is best for him...whether that entails implants remains to be seen. I do think, however, that Jason has shown what a a great success story they can be.

[HalfPint]

Kendall,

There is no doubt that children can be hurtful. In my experience, just like with adults, it usually stems from ignorance. Most children are very curious and open minded. Taking the time to explain Spike's condition would do wonders. And as Jason has shown us...being deaf doesn't have to define him or Spike either.

All Zach and Erica are asking is to keep and open mind and be informed...I know you can do that for Spike.

[Brainerd]

Kendall,

Are you kidding? Both of your children will be babe magnets...and if either of them are like their mother, you're gonna have your hands full. Thankfully, you have years to prepare for that.

With the implants Jason's life has been very minimally limited and isn't much different from most ten year olds.

I think you will find that most children and Spike too are very adaptable...much more so than us adults.

[Onamia]

Kendall,

You may feel that Zach and Erica put you on the spot but at least you understand they did because they love both you and Spike so much.

Jason is an extremely bright not to mention adorable boy. If anyone can get you to understand, he can.

Adam may be many things, and I certainly don't condone him kidnapping Jenny and then trying to adopt her out, but at least he hasn't buried anyone alive. Tad shouldn't be throwing stones. And Krystal needs to know that Adam isn't the only person who has done despicable things...her behavior bedding Tad and then claiming the child was Adam's wins her no points either.

[Jules]

As Zach said, you don't have to make a decision today. But you do need to listen, for Spike's sake. There's alot about this little boy that's very encouraging about Spike's future if he has the surgery. Zach said he's done some research, so talk to him, or better yet, you and Zach should talk to Jason and find out more about him. What's the harm in learning more? Spike deserves you to make an informed decision, and then, Kendall, I think you'll find the faith you need to make the leap to surgery.

[Sharon]

Kendall why should you be mad at Erica & Zach? Do you not see that as Spike's grandmother & stepDad, they not only have some rights here, but
they most certainly have Spike's very best interests
at heart? Well they do dear & you should stop fighting this & accept what's happened & try to move fwd to help Spike now.

[lisa]

kendall it is good that ur mom did that now u know spike can have a nice normal life

[Bonnie]

Kendall, everyone on earth is different, special, and incredible, from everyone else. There is no different in what is ahead of Spike, Ian, Zach and you. What your mother and Zach have shown you is their love to you and Spike by showing you the opportunities and alternatives out there. There is no right or wrong in opportunities or alternatives. Didn’t you take the opportunity visiting Dr. Hilliard and allowed him to give Spike another alternative? Just be opened and see for yourself….you are an intelligent young lady, a dedicated loving mother and wife. We all have faith in you. Have faith in yourself. Our best wishes to you and your family…..take care.

[Anne]

Kendall, please don't be too angry at Zach and your mom, they just wanted to help. They knew if they told you, you would never have came. Now after meeting and talking to Jason, you see that he is not different. He enjoys life and can do almost everything. Spike can be the same. You have to think about this. Zach will be with all the way.