Mark my words

Monday, September 10, 2007

I am such a horrible mother. I almost killed my own son with those damn vitamins. Why was I so easily fooled? I'm such an idiot. I feel like every decision, every thought I have is wrong lately. I wanted Spike to be cured so badly... he could have died. My God... My baby almost didn't make it into this world, then he was tossed from that damn car... and now... I've been feeding him something his body reacted to like poison. This should have never happened. Never. And it's because of Greenlee. I take some blame - but I would have never even met Hilliard if that woman didn't contact him. Why can't she just stay away from me, my family, my son... Spike cannot go through this again. He's just a year old, and I will never let him be in the line of fire ever again.

Comments

[Becky, Brandon,MS]

Kendall:

Never let your baby be in the line of fire again?Well, good luck with that one.Stuff happens.Greenlee may have put you on to Hilliard, but ultimately, you made it your decision.
Try not to be too hard on yourself...or Hilliard. No one can know ahead of time what a kid is going to be allergic to. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
..and the next time Zach and Ryan tell you to wait, please LISTEN!

[CindyK]

Kendall,

Please listen to Erica and Annie...this was not your fault. As Joe mentioned it's possible the vitamins had nothing to do with Spike's allergic reactions.

I love how Zach was there supporting you. I also know how disappointed you must feel because this means Spike has not been cured and is still deaf. As Zach very wisely stated "there is always hope". Never doubt that.

I also loved how supportive and loving Erica has been and continues to be.

[Barb NY]

Kendall..You aren't a horrible mother. I think you are just desperate to find a cure for your son and that is impairing your judgement. I think you should stay with the more traditional type doctors. Spike will be fine and you just have to be careful to keep whatever he is allergic to away from him. I think you should just stay away from Greenlee. It would be best if Zach and Ryan deal with her and make her understand that she is not wanted in your lives. You have enough to deal with taking care of Ian and Spike.

[MrsK]

Kendall,

Please don't beat yourself up...there are many harmless products that for whatever reason some children cannot tolerate and have a reaction to. There is no way anyone could of predicted Spike's allergy...in fact, it might not even be the vitamins at all.

As far as Hilliard I really do think he believes in his treatment...and I know there are a lot of good alternative doctors out there. I do blame Greenlee for not checking Hilliard out before contacting him and certainly before she allowed him to call you.

The only thing I can agree with Greenlee about is...Aidan is hot.

[HalfPint]

Kendall,

Thankfully, Dr. Norton got there when he did...but you also need to know that it's possible that even without the vitamins Spike could be allergic to any number of things. As Joe explained there is no way of knowing without running more tests. By all accounts the vitamins themselves do seem harmless and there was no way of knowing so please believe this is not your fault.

While I have no love for Greenlee...I really do think her intentions were good...but you know that they say about the pathway to hell.

And what is it with JR and his fixation with Ava? Loved the comment from Adam regarding getting Ava into to bed...all JR had to do was buy a pack of gum. If JR really wants to be his own person, then why is he still looking for Adam to bankroll his latest scheme? Adam was right on when he mentioned that JR never knew what it was like to go hungry. Perhaps this is the incentive JR needs.

[Brainerd]

Kendall,

Poor Spike...thankfully Zach has your back. Loved him being there for you and seeing the both of you comforting Spike.

Please don't beat yourself up too badly...many children develop allergies for unknown reasons...it could be to anything...as Annie mentioned something as simple as peanuts or even a bee sting. There is no way of knowing for sure until after it happens.

I'm also glad Erica is looking out for you and your family...Greenlee better duck.

[Onamia]

Kendall,

There is no way of predicting an allergic reaction...with or without the vitamins. You have nothing to feel guilty about but I also know that as a parent that won't stop you from feeling that way. So glad that you have Zach and Erica by your side.

[Jules]

You are not to blame, Kendall! You continue to trust in the wrong people, or should I say, person--Greenlee DuPres--even when you don't know it. You wanted hope for your son, and Greenlee, who never bothered to look up Dr. Hilliard's credentials, just foisted him on you like a lion to a lamb. You were exhausted and vulnerable, and Greenlee was desperate for redemption, which she'll never get from the vast majority of the public. Now you're back to doubting yourself again because of Greenlee. Zach and Erica help you to make strides and feel good about your ability to be a good mom, and Greenlee tears you down again. I want her out of Pine Valley for good, and I want to see you back on track with both your boys.

[Kitty]

kendall,
You are not a bad mom. However, you should have researched more about the vitamins. I hate GreenLee, however this time it was 100% your fault for almost killing Spikey!

[Anne]

Kendall, do not be so hard on yourself. You had no idea that Spike would react like that to the vitamins. You never know what could cause an allergic reaction in a child. Thank God Zach called Dr Norton.

You really need a restraining order against Greenlee. She needs to stay far far away from your family.

Zach will keep you and your family safe.

[twin2]

While I know you are aggravated with Greenlee and her knack for butting into your life at every turn (and I certainly understand), I don't think you can blame the results of Dr. Hilliard's "vitamins" on her. Did she overstep herself? Most definitely! Did she do this with malicious intent? I don't think so, although I realize with her track record, it's easy to blame her. But think for a moment: Did you thoroughly check out this guy before you took your son to see him? Not really. And yes, I can definitely sympathize with your need to get him as much help, as soon as possible. But step back a moment and remember that both, Zach and Ryan tried to warn you that no one knew enough about this so-called doctor. He should have at least given you the list of ingredients in those drops; better yet, he should have given you an outlined plan of treatment.

Are you a bad mother? Oh my goodness, no. You are fighting with every bit of strength to help your son. No one can fault you there. Maybe it's time to possibly consider the fact that Spike will heal in his good time...and if he's deaf, all of you will adjust, and support him and raise him to be a happy, functioning little boy. This is NOT the end of the world.

On a personal note, while I know having one son go through what Spike has is devastating...I believe it's time for you to direct some of that fighting spirit towards Ian. He needs all of your strength, all of your courage, all of your support to make it through today and into tomorrow. I feel a tad bit sorry for him, you are so absorbed with Spike. I know you love him, but you need to let him feel it just by spending time with him, talking to him. He needs you, too, probably more.

[Bonnie]

Kendall I know you want only to help fix Spike so he can hear but you have to be careful how and what you do. Zach has all the resources in the world at his fingertips and he will help you find what is out there. Be a little patient.Technology is improving by the minute and this will help too. ASL has become very popular for use with babies that can hear too you know. Keep the faith and let Zach help too.

[Tigereye]

Kendall,

You're not a bad mother, just one who's desperate to make life perfect for her children. If Spike had been allergic to peanut butter would you think you were a bad mom for giving him a PB&J sandwich? Of course not. Don't beat yourself up over that.

However, I do agree with you that Greenlee is to blame for a LOT of this. Not only for introducing you to Hilliard, but the woman kidnapped and maimed your baby. And you also have to blame her accomplice in all this: Ryan. Who insisted that you accept Greenlee into your life? Who insisted that you let Greenlee into Spike's life? I will always blame Ryan for this as much as Greenlee. I can't forget how he ORDERED you to accept Greenlee nor can I forget how smug and superior he was to Zach just a few weeks before Greenlee ran off with Spike when at the yacht club Ryan said he was right to force Greenlee into your lives. Ryan and Greenlee, they're to blame for all this misery.

[Eve]

Dear Kendall

You are not a bad mother. You didn't know that the doctor was referred to from Greenlee. You're only doing what's best for your son, trying to help him. That Greenlee, I can't believe her. Next time, try to find out about the doctors, any doctors that tries to contact you and how is it that they know about you and Spike before you start to leap in. That way, you wouldn't have to make that mistake again. Hope Spike is ok. He's been through enough.