Separation Anxiety

Friday, August 24, 2007

I know Zach's making a whole world of sense. I get that. But I hate being away from both my babies. Every minute I'm home I'll be thinking of Ian and wondering if everything is okay, or calling Ryan to check in on Spike. I know that sounds like I am this crazy, overprotective mom whose life revolves around her children that I swore I would never be, but you know what - that is exactly who I need to be right now. Is that wrong? Or even abnormal given the circumstances? I just need to calm down, breathe a little, look in Zach's eyes and keep imagining everything will go back to normal very soon. It just has to...

Comments

[Tigereye]

Kendall,

Considering all you've been through, it's normal to be frightened for your children and over-protective. Yes, you need to calm down, breath, get yourself healthy again too. But I want to also suggest you talk to somebody as well. You've been through a lot and you need to discuss it with someone. And maybe not someone you know. I think a good therapist or counselor might be more the type of person you need to speak to now. It'll help a lot.

[Becky, Brandon,MS]

Kendall:
Given the circumstances, I think you might be close to what we call a "post partum incident". You just gave birth under difficult circumstances,you have two sick children,your best friend betrayed your trust, and you havent' had any rest since....when? That's a recipe for disaster...and clinical depression.It's time...
past time actually...for Dr. Joe to step in and start you on some medication...and you need to co-operate, whether you think you need to or not.
You are completely irrational right now...and
understandably so...but there are people around to care for you and you need to let them.

[Barb NY]

Kendall..My heart nearly broke today seeing how upset you were missing Spike and not wanting to leave Ian. Any mother would feel that way. It does make sense to have Spike stay with Ryan and Annie. That will give you a chance to spend time with Ian and visit Spike when ever you would like to. Ian is improving and before you know it, he will be home with you and Zach. You have to concentrate now on getting your strength back. You've been through a terrible ordeal physically and mentally. You need time for everything to get back to normal. Before you know it you'll be chasing those two little guys through the house.

[Jules]

I hate that Greenlee, and your faith in Greenlee, has shaken your ability to confidently leave your sons alone, or take a nap, without worrying about whether or not they're OK. To me, this is her real crime--taking away your confidence and peace of mind. Your instincts are right, but you need to separate yourself from your fears, and heal and get stronger, and trust that Zach will not let anything happen to Ian or Spike. He said you two need to be together, hold each other and resume your lives as best you can, and he's right. I hope that you will realize that, either on your own or by getting help.

[CindyK]

Kendall,

Missing your children when they are away from you is perfectly normal...especially when they are so young and little like Spike and Ian.

Walking into a random hospital room asking to hold a stranger's baby...not so normal. After all you and Zach and your family has been through I don't know how I would react either...but talking to a professional or other parents who have had a preemie and also those dealing with hearing loss would be helpful.

My heart ached for you as you were lying wrapped in Spike's blanket...please know that life will get better.

[MrsK]

Kendall,

Zach knows just how difficult being apart from your children is for you because he's living and feeling many of the same things you are.

I may not always agree with Ryan or how he goes about things, but I have to agree with Zach...Ryan does love Spike and will take good care of him. Perhaps that is why I didn't mind him giving it to Greenlee.

While I know that physically you cannot hold Spike or Ian at the moment...wanting to hold a stranger's newborn is a little "out there". With all the hurdles you and your family have endured, getting some medical advice would be advisable...and also remember you aren't alone. Zach is Spike's dad in every way that matters and of course,Ian as well.

[HalfPint]

Kendall,

As time goes on, I can see that dealing with Spike's hearing loss and Ian's birth as a preemie have taken their toll...how sad you looked while covered in Spike's blanket not wanting to leave Ian or the hospital.

When tragedy strikes sometimes it is easier to pretend it didn't happen rather than try and deal with it...denial can be a lonely place but it doesn't have to be. Talking to Zach and seeking help isn't a sign of weakness rather it is a sign of great strength. You've had to do it before and I know will do whatever you need to to be the best parent you can be.

[Melissa]

I have faith that things will work out for you and your babies and I dont blame you for taking Spike to that Doctor that's what moms do we go to the limit for our little ones i just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you cause I have just now got out of the same thing my baby she was just released from the NICU so I cry for you and your babies

[Dana]

Well, Miss Kendall has her hands full! However, if I were her, as long as Zach was around..........I would know everything will be O.K. She is a very very blessed lady! Beautiful, with people that love her, and the best husband around!( :

[Kristen]

Kendall...

You have the most loyal, trustworthy and loving husband a person can ask for. He understands how you feel Kendall and he would not do anything to make you feel anymore worried or scared than you already are.

Both boys need you and Zach needs you. You are not abandoning Spike by letting him leave the hospital and be in a place that he knows. And Ian knows when you are there. They know you love them with everything that you have.

Kendall, you're exhausted. You and Zach need to be with each other, need to support each other and help each other through this. You are in it together. Trust in him.

You will make it through - all of you.

Kristen

[Anne]

Kendall, you are not crazy. You love your children so much that you don't want to be away from them, that is understandable. You are a great mother. Zach is right, you have to start getting your life back. You can't live in a hospital room. You guys need to live in your own home, sleep in your own bed holding each other. I love Zach's Iancam. With that you will be able to see what Ian is doing all the time.

Go home, go back to some normalcy and you will have your little boys home with you soon.

[Sarah]

Kendall,

Worrying about your babies isn't wrong and given your very unfortunate circumstances definitely understandable. I know that you want to make sure Ian and Spike are safe at all times and take care of them. But you have to take care of you too. Zach is very worried about you and so am I.

Keep looking into Zach's eyes and draw strength and comfort from him. Team Slater will be all right again. You've got to believe that.

[Blair]

To Kendall

You're just doing like any mom would, be there for them and protect them so that they are safe. However, you have to relax. You're putting too much stress on yourself and it's not good for you or for your family. Listen to Zach. When he says Spike will be ok with Ryan, then he's right. Right now, focus on Ian. He definitely needs you and Zach right now. And when he gets better, you, Zach, Ian, and Spike will be together again, going home.

[Jennifet Griffin]

You are doing a better job than I would be doing. I am amazed at you! I just dont want you and Zach to let this come between what the both of you have worked for. It is crazy that you and him have a child together when at first you couldnt stand him. Ian and Spike will be ok and this will make you a very strong mom!