Quiet

Monday, August 13, 2007

The world is a scary place. It terrifies me most days. Not something I like to admit, but it's true. My son's world just got a whole lot scarier. It makes me want to cry, scream, rage - throw things... his world went dark after the car accident and when he woke up, his world became quiet. I hate that. I have to fix it. He's my son. He's supposed to be whole... how he was. I'm supposed to make sure his world stays safe, that his world gets bigger and better - not darker, quieter - not worse. I love Spike no matter what - that will never change. I just hope he knows how much... because it kills me he can't hear me tell him right now.

Comments

[Becky, Brandon,MS]

Kendall,dear.You're not listening.Your son can be 'fixed'.You just have to wait...something we all know you don't do very well.Even though Spikey can't HEAR you,you feels your touch.He sees your face.He knows you're there and that you love him.The only way his world will be dark is if YOU make it that way.Look into his eyes.Teach him to use those little hands to talk to you.Young children learn sign language very quickly.Start bridging the gap to his world NOW so that when he does get his implant,his world will be expanded beyond measure.He will be part of two wonderful worlds.The world of the hearing and the world of the hearing impaired...and so will you.

[CindyK]

Kendall,

Learning Spike is permanently deaf has to be a shock...no wonder you are having a difficult time taking it all in. As Zach told you today, it'll be allright. He'll help you deal with whatever is ahead.

While I know that no parent wants their child to grow up "different" being deaf doesn't have to define who Spike is. Because Spike is very young he is more likely to adapt quickly and still have a very happy and full life.

Taking care of yourself will also help Spike, Ian and Zach too. When Zach was trying to get you to rest or take a little time for yourself he was just trying to be the great husband he is....so don't be too stubborn to take his advice.

[Barb NY]

Kendall..The world is a scary place for a little boy that can't hear. Spike is a lucky little boy because he can get implants and he will be able to hear. I think you have to concentrate on that and realize just what that means. I know you love Spike and want only the best for him. However, you are forgetting Ian, your other little boy. You need to spend time with him and bond with him. He too has to hear his mother's voice and know that she loves him. Being the mother of two is harder than being the mother of one and you really haven't had much time to adjust. However the time has come for you to divide your time. You have to think of Ian and be there for him as well as Spike. Spike has Ryan and Annie to sit with him. Ian has you and Zach. Look at Zach. He is exhausted. You have to help him out with Ian. You need to spend time with him and Let Zach rest. You also have to eat and rest or you won't be able to take care of either baby. Ask Erica and Josh to help you.They both love your sons and would want to help you.

[MrsK]

Kendall,

I hope you take Zach's words of encouragement to heart...Spike knows just how much is is loved and cherished by the two of you, along with Ryan and Annie. He doesn't need to hear the words...he can see it in your eyes and feel it in your touch...as does baby Ian. As Zach said he too knows from experience...Ian can feel your presence as well...even with all of the machines around and his eyes taped shut.

Finding out Spike is deaf is definitely a challenge...and hopefully, you will be able to move from shock to acceptance. There are many decisions that need to be made for the best treatment and outcome...your three men are counting on you...so try to destress as much as possible...I can see you are getting a bit frazzled.

[HalfPint]

Kendall,

I love how supportive Zach has been to you and your sons...and how he was able to calm you down...but you have to start listening to him and Joe to take it easy. You have two little boys counting on you and a husband that need you too.

I know you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances but without food or sleep you won't be. Getting a second opinion regarding Spike's hearing may be a good idea...and remember Spike has options...options that weren't available just a few years ago. Hopefully, you can get past the shock, hurt, and anger and move onto the the next step which is acceptance.

[Brainerd]

Kendall,

I know your world just fell apart and you are in denial and frustrated as he double hockey sticks...but at the end of the day I know that you'll be there for your entire family because that's who you are.

[Shannon]

Just because Spike is deaf doesn't mean you can't talk to him. Sign language is a wonderful way to communicate with a deaf person. Spike isn't broken, he just can't hear. There is a famous quote, "Deaf people can do anything, except hear." Spike will change your life and the world's in so many ways, he has had to fight for so many things, but that just made him stronger. God wouldn't do this to Spike and your family if he didn't think you could handle it. Have courage, everything will all work out the way its supposed to. Take it from a deaf person. I don't consider my deafness a curse or punishment, but as a blessing. Its made me a stronger person. You, Spike and your family will become so much stronger because of this.

[Tigereye]

Kendall,

He knows. You need to stop blaming yourself for all this. Greenlee did this, not you. Now, you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your boys, Spike, Ian and Zach.

[Jules]

Kendall, you've just gotten some terrible news and you're not thinking clearly, but you have to listen to the doctors: your son will hear again with the help of a cochlear implant. Please don't continue to think the worst.

Zach told you that Spike knows how much you love him, even if he can't hear you, just from how you look at him and hold him. (It was extra wonderful because he said he knew from personal experience. Awww.) Hold on to that. You can still communicate with Spike, but it will be a little different from now on. However, you need to start communicating with Ian immediately. Your staying away from him isn't doing him or you any good, and your reasons for staying away aren't fair to Ian. I hope that changes soon.

[sweetpeanut]

Kendall, Spike IS "whole". With the love & support of his family, he'll be fine. You've got a lot on your plate right now, young lady, but don't give up. Yes, Spike's life isn't going to be quite what you may have pictured it, but he's still Spike and he's still here with you. Rejoice in that. He still loves you and you need to pull yourself together and make him feel that he is the same little person he was last week.

[Jessie from NYC]

The world is scary enough without the darkness and the quiet. However I have friends that are deaf and learning to talk in their language is hard but fun also. I feel like it a sercert when we talk and that everyone else around us won't ever know. My friends have a full lives that they enjoy. Don't worry Spike will be great with or without he's hearing. Spike will be the best looking, smart man the world would love. The fans of the show will love both your kids no matter what becuase we love you and your whole entire family.

[Some one who loves children]

I understand you wanting him to know that you love him...ever heard the saying "actions speak louder than words" Your actions are letting Spike know you love him.

[Amanda Canright From VA]

Kendall,
It will get easier. I just reacently had a 24 week old baby and thigs are very hard and difficult to understand. It will take time and Spike knows how much you love him you have showen it from day one and he wont forget. Be sure to never give up on faith always stay positive even though you may think its inpossible anything is possibe. Miricles happen my daughter is still in the hospital and we are going on three months now and we were not ready at all and still arn't everything is overwhelming. Just thank God that you have the money to make sure you kids have a good life. You are great at your job and you are playing the role amazingly. Remeber stay positive.