All My Children: Kendall's Hart To Heart

AAARGH

Thursday, May 29

Dismantle Fusion? Is she serious? She’d really destroy everything we worked so hard for just because she’s angry at me. I tried to broker peace today—brought over coffee and pretended nothing was wrong—which was clearly not the right move. Greenlee was ready to throttle me.

I’m starting to get pissed off. I made a mistake. It was a stupid mistake. But Aidan and I thought Zach and Greenlee were dead and we didn’t know what to do. I’ll regret sleeping with him for the rest of my life, but maybe Greenlee needs to get over herself! I’m so mad right now!!

Julia

Wednesday, May 28

Julia’s dead. I can’t believe it. All those years I spent hating her. God, the way we used to fight over Anton! It just seems so stupid now. And with Zach, when she first came back to town. I was so convinced she wanted him. I was so jealous. I can actually admit that now. And now she’s gone. That poor little girl, Kathy. What is she going to do now? She’s got no one.

SOS Ryan

Tuesday, May 27

Ryan can help me get through to Greenlee. I know he can. He gets her, the way that I get her. I could tell he wasn’t too thrilled at the news I slept with Aidan, but he cares about Greenlee enough to know she’s got to forgive me. Forgive us. He’s got to.

It Happened

Friday, May 23

Greenlee knows. I don’t know what exactly happened, but she knows. For a minute, I seriously thought she was going to kill us. I should have known that trying to explain what happened to Greenlee wouldn’t do any good. She was in her own zone, too hurt and betrayed to even listen to us. I tried to go after her, but Zach basically nixed it. He kept saying our friendship could survive this. It survived worse, right? Wrong. This is different. It’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back. How much is too much damage? I don’t know if Greenlee and I can recover from this. But I can’t let things just lie. I’m sorry, Zach. But she’s my best friend.

It feels like everything is spinning out of control. Tad and Julia have been shot by some crazy guy, Tad’s uncle or something. What the hell is going on?

Scared to Say

Tuesday, May 20

Life is good right now. And that freaks me out a little bit. We had girls’ night out at Confusion tonight. Babe, Amanda, Greenlee and me. After all that baby drama with Aidan, Greenlee needed some cheering up. I think it worked.

I found myself thinking about old times. How Mia, Simone, Greenlee and I would all get drinks some nights after a working all day. Just us and the possibilities of what Fusion could be. Now Mia’s in California and Simone’s gone, so it’s just Greenlee and me from the old crew. I guess that’s what made tonight so special.

Ugh. Whenever I feel this happy I expect the other shoe to drop. That’s just my head freaking out. Things are going to be fine.

A Good Day

Wednesday, May 14

Zach and I went to see Mom in prison today. We brought her some stuff for the kids and it seemed to lift her spirit. Jack was there, and I can tell how much she misses him. But it was so good to see her, and to be there with Zach. Overall, life is pretty good right now. I'm almost scared to type that. Whatever, Kendall, you don't believe in jinxes. You deserve this happiness.

I ended up with Jack's cell phone by accident after we left the prison. Damn. He must have mine. I'll have to get it later.

Happy Endings

Friday, May 9

Greenlee was in full denial mode. She wouldn't accept Aidan was dead. I mean, could you blame her? After losing Leo and sort of losing Ryan, I don't think she could take another death. I don't think I even thought about how I felt. Or let myself feel. I was too worried about her.

And then he was there. That accent, looking banged up and a little worse for wear--but okay. Aidan's okay! Greenlee ran into his arms and for a few minutes, I truly believed in happily ever after.

NO

Thursday, May 8

No. I refuse to believe it. Aidan's not dead. He's not dead.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Tuesday, May 6

I can see in Greenlee's face how worried she is about Aidan.  So I needed to get her mind off things. I needed to get my mind off things. So what better way that shopping? We went to look at wedding dresses because it's time Greenlee started planning her big day with Aidan. Because he's coming back to her. He has to.

Krystal and Angie ended up at the store, too. Angie was getting ready for her wedding day. It was a nice afternoon. Greenlee actually smiled. Mission accomplished.

Close Call

Monday, May 5

OH MY GOD that was close.

These MAJOR Japanese investors came in to Fusion today. We were trying to get them to distribute to the Japanese market. Huge, HUGE deal. So we had this whole presentation prepared, we were totally stressed and nervous and in the middle of Babe giving it, the video of all of us poll dancing pops up. Yeah. I wanted to die.

The weird thing is, they thought it was charming. Like it was our plan or something. They want to work with us! So everything worked out in the end.

I’m hoping that’s true for Aidan. Greenlee’s really worried about him. I mean, it’s

Darfur

. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can. I don’t want to let her know I’m worried too.